Sharents: Why You Need To Pause Before You Post

We’re headed off on a week-long family trip. In our excitement, we post pictures on Facebook announcing we're leaving the country.

Our son receives a prestigious award at school, so we proudly share a picture of him holding his certificate on Instagram. #proudmom

It’s our daughter’s birthday, so we celebrate her with a collage of memories— even though she’s not on social media..

But, should we be sharing our kids’ images and our precious family moments online?

With June being Internet Safety Month, I began reflecting on my own ‘sharenting’ habits. Is posting these snapshots harmless — or are there risks?

Are there risks to our ‘sharenting’?

Dr. Lisa Strohman, psychologist and founder of Digital Citizen Academy, believes there are — which is why she doesn’t post about her own children.

“Neither one of us posts anything about our kids on social media,” she says. “I’m very specific about what I allow to be tagged. It’s not my right to post on my child’s behalf when it’s not their choice.”

So where do we draw the line between parental freedom and a child’s right to privacy?

“I believe kids should enter adulthood with as small a digital footprint as possible,” says Strohman. “It isn’t our place to ‘brand’ them at a moment in time with something that could follow them later. Who wants their ’80s hairstyle permanently searchable?”

Why we may need to change our ‘sharenting’ habits

Parents must recognize that today’s posts may shape their child’s future. Once something is online, control is lost. “If I share something about my child at seven,” Strohman asks, “who will see it — and where will it end up?”

Writer and podcaster Meagan Francis learned this firsthand when a photo she shared was taken and turned into a viral meme. What began as a personal moment became public without her consent — a reminder that online sharing carries real risks.

Allow your child to create their own digital identity.

Strohman encourages parents to allow children to form their own digital identities. If sharing is necessary, be intentional. Ask why you’re posting and who truly needs access. Private file-sharing platforms often serve families better than public feeds.

Put your child’s pictures back in the photo album where they belong.

Rachel Musnicki spoke for many kids in her article in Your Teen Magazine, “We hate it when you tell our friends embarrassing stories in person; it’s worse when you post them on Facebook. Remember, nothing ever goes away on the Internet. We don’t want to be followed by that embarrassing nickname or baby picture on the Internet forever. I’d be mortified beyond belief if pictures of me with braces were on the Internet. Some images should remain hidden in a photo album.”

Consider removing images you’ve already posted of your child.

I’ve experienced this personally. My daughter now dislikes a photo of her posted years ago during our RV sabbatical. While one site removed it, others remain attached to my writing — a permanent reminder that online content rarely disappears.

Make a conscious choice to find other ways to connect with family and friends.

These experiences have pushed me toward more thoughtful sharing. When prom season arrived, I skipped posting publicly and shared photos privately. My sons later posted their own pictures — as they should. Their digital footprint should be theirs to shape.

What should we consciously do before we post our child’s images and information online?

3 Things You Should Never Post

1. Don’t share travel plans in real time.

Announcing your absence can expose your home and personal information. Wait until you return.

2. Don’t post celebratory birthday messages.

With just a name, date of birth, and address (easy enough to find in a geotagged birthday party photo on Facebook, for example), bad actors can store this information until a person turns 18 and then begin opening accounts.

“There is a lot of information people can pull from knowing your birthday,” says Strohman. “It takes away a huge unknown variable, for instance, if you are trying to steal someone’s identity.”

3. Don’t post images without your child's approval.

Ask permission — and respect changing feelings over time. Avoid tagging or using full names when possible.

Sharenting isn’t inherently wrong — but it requires intention. Less sharing, more mindfulness, and greater respect for our children’s autonomy can protect both their privacy and their future.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is keep our precious moments offline.